diff --git a/apps/desktop/electron/main.ts b/apps/desktop/electron/main.ts
index 83bd6b25a0e06..87ebe3a8c6f38 100644
--- a/apps/desktop/electron/main.ts
+++ b/apps/desktop/electron/main.ts
@@ -200,7 +200,7 @@ import {
   sandboxPreflight
 } from './update-relaunch'
 import { isOfficialSshRemote, OFFICIAL_REPO_HTTPS_URL } from './update-remote'
-import { spawnUpdaterProcess } from './updater-process'
+import { resolveStagedUpdaterBinary, spawnUpdaterProcess } from './updater-process'
 import { formatBlockerMessage, formatProbeFailedMessage, scanVenvBlockers } from './venv-blocker-scan'
 import { fetchMarketplaceThemes, searchMarketplaceThemes } from './vscode-marketplace'
 import {
@@ -2602,26 +2602,14 @@ let isQuittingForHandoff = false
 let quitPromptOpen = false
 let quitConfirmedWithActiveWork = false
 
-// Resolve the staged updater binary. The Tauri installer copies itself to
-// HERMES_HOME/hermes-setup.exe on a successful install (see
-// apps/bootstrap-installer paths::copy_self_to_hermes_home). That binary owns
-// ALL repo mutation — running `hermes update` + rebuilding the desktop — so
-// the desktop never touches its own bits while running. Returns null when the
-// updater isn't staged (e.g. a dev/source run that never went through the
-// installer); callers degrade gracefully.
-//
-// hermes-setup is the Tauri Windows-installer self-copy path. On macOS/Linux
-// the drag-and-drop .app uses applyUpdatesPosixInApp instead, so a stale
-// hermes-setup (e.g. from an old macOS install, #74836) must not route the
-// update into the Windows-style handoff.
+// Resolve the staged updater binary the desktop may hand an update to. On
+// Windows that binary owns ALL repo mutation — running `hermes update` +
+// rebuilding the desktop — so the desktop never touches its own bits while
+// running. macOS/Linux stage the same binary but deliberately do not use it;
+// see resolveStagedUpdaterBinary for the policy and for #74836. Returns null
+// whenever no hand-off applies; callers degrade gracefully.
 function resolveUpdaterBinary() {
-  if (!IS_WINDOWS) {
-    return null
-  }
-
-  const candidate = path.join(HERMES_HOME, 'hermes-setup.exe')
-
-  return fileExists(candidate) ? candidate : null
+  return resolveStagedUpdaterBinary(HERMES_HOME, { fileExists, isWindows: IS_WINDOWS })
 }
 
 function repairMacUpdaterHelper(updater) {
@@ -2849,12 +2837,13 @@ async function applyUpdates(opts = {}) {
     const updater = resolveUpdaterBinary()
 
     if (!updater && !IS_WINDOWS) {
-      // macOS/Linux drag-install: no staged Tauri hermes-setup. Unlike Windows
-      // (where a venv-shim file lock forces the quit→hand-off→rebuild dance),
-      // there's no mandatory file locking here, so the desktop can drive the
-      // whole update itself: `hermes update` (backend) + `hermes desktop
-      // --build-only` (OS-aware GUI rebuild), then swap the running .app bundle
-      // with the freshly built one and relaunch.
+      // macOS/Linux: never hand off, staged hermes-setup or not — the resolver
+      // returns null there by policy. Unlike Windows (where a venv-shim file
+      // lock forces the quit→hand-off→rebuild dance), there's no mandatory file
+      // locking here, so the desktop can drive the whole update itself:
+      // `hermes update` (backend) + `hermes desktop --build-only` (OS-aware GUI
+      // rebuild), then swap the running .app bundle with the freshly built one
+      // and relaunch.
       return await applyUpdatesPosixInApp(opts)
     }
 
diff --git a/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.test.ts b/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.test.ts
index ce61855dff52a..70174b26f1f6f 100644
--- a/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.test.ts
+++ b/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.test.ts
@@ -1,9 +1,10 @@
 import assert from 'node:assert/strict'
 import type { SpawnOptions } from 'node:child_process'
+import path from 'node:path'
 
 import { test } from 'vitest'
 
-import { spawnUpdaterProcess } from './updater-process'
+import { resolveStagedUpdaterBinary, spawnUpdaterProcess } from './updater-process'
 
 test('spawnUpdaterProcess hides the updater console and detaches the child on Windows', () => {
   const calls: Array<{ args: string[]; command: string; options: SpawnOptions }> = []
@@ -60,3 +61,49 @@ test('spawnUpdaterProcess preserves updater options off Windows', () => {
 
   assert.deepEqual(capturedOptions, { detached: true, stdio: 'ignore' })
 })
+
+test('resolveStagedUpdaterBinary hands Windows the staged installer it finds', () => {
+  const home = 'C:\\Users\\hermes\\AppData\\Local\\hermes'
+  const staged = path.join(home, 'hermes-setup.exe')
+  const probed: string[] = []
+
+  const resolved = resolveStagedUpdaterBinary(home, {
+    fileExists: (candidate) => {
+      probed.push(candidate)
+
+      return candidate === staged
+    },
+    isWindows: true
+  })
+
+  assert.equal(resolved, staged)
+  assert.deepEqual(probed, [staged])
+})
+
+test('resolveStagedUpdaterBinary returns null off Windows even when hermes-setup is staged (#74836)', () => {
+  const home = '/Users/hermes/.hermes'
+  let probes = 0
+
+  const resolved = resolveStagedUpdaterBinary(home, {
+    // The installer stages hermes-setup on macOS/Linux too, so "it exists" is
+    // the normal case — and precisely the one that must not win.
+    fileExists: () => {
+      probes += 1
+
+      return true
+    },
+    isWindows: false
+  })
+
+  assert.equal(resolved, null)
+  assert.equal(probes, 0)
+})
+
+test('resolveStagedUpdaterBinary returns null on Windows when nothing is staged', () => {
+  const resolved = resolveStagedUpdaterBinary('C:\\Users\\hermes\\AppData\\Local\\hermes', {
+    fileExists: () => false,
+    isWindows: true
+  })
+
+  assert.equal(resolved, null)
+})
diff --git a/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.ts b/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.ts
index d0706a6e51402..56352da3e8534 100644
--- a/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.ts
+++ b/apps/desktop/electron/updater-process.ts
@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
 import { spawn, type SpawnOptions } from 'node:child_process'
+import { statSync } from 'node:fs'
+import path from 'node:path'
 
 import { hiddenWindowsChildOptions } from './windows-child-options'
 
@@ -7,6 +9,58 @@ export interface UpdaterChild {
   unref: () => void
 }
 
+export interface ResolveStagedUpdaterBinaryDeps {
+  isWindows?: boolean
+  fileExists?: (candidate: string) => boolean
+}
+
+function stagedFileExists(candidate: string): boolean {
+  try {
+    return statSync(candidate).isFile()
+  } catch {
+    return false
+  }
+}
+
+/**
+ * Decide which staged installer binary — if any — may be handed an update.
+ *
+ * The Tauri installer self-copies into HERMES_HOME on *every* platform
+ * (`hermes-setup.exe` on Windows, `hermes-setup` elsewhere — see
+ * apps/bootstrap-installer `paths::installer_dest` and
+ * `bootstrap::copy_self_to_hermes_home`), so finding that binary on macOS or
+ * Linux is expected, not leftover junk.
+ *
+ * Handing an update to it is nonetheless a Windows-only policy. Windows needs
+ * the quit -> hand-off -> rebuild dance because a venv shim file lock keeps the
+ * running desktop from rewriting its own bits; macOS and Linux have no such
+ * lock and update in place through applyUpdatesPosixInApp(). Off Windows the
+ * hand-off therefore buys nothing and costs a great deal: a staged binary older
+ * than the hand-off protocol holds the update marker, spawns `hermes update`,
+ * and that child refuses its own parent — wedging the in-app Update button for
+ * good, with no route (update, re-download, reinstall) to a newer binary
+ * (#74836). Returning null off Windows is what routes those platforms to the
+ * in-app updater.
+ *
+ * Null on Windows too when nothing is staged (a dev/source run, or a CLI
+ * install that never went through the installer); callers degrade gracefully.
+ */
+export function resolveStagedUpdaterBinary(
+  hermesHome: string,
+  deps: ResolveStagedUpdaterBinaryDeps = {}
+): string | null {
+  const isWindows = deps.isWindows ?? process.platform === 'win32'
+
+  if (!isWindows) {
+    return null
+  }
+
+  const fileExists = deps.fileExists ?? stagedFileExists
+  const candidate = path.join(hermesHome, 'hermes-setup.exe')
+
+  return fileExists(candidate) ? candidate : null
+}
+
 export interface SpawnUpdaterProcessDeps {
   isWindows?: boolean
   spawnProcess?: (command: string, args: string[], options: SpawnOptions) => UpdaterChild